Wishing Upon A Falling Star
by LeatitiaVia
Summary: Since I've been back for my final and most important year in school, I've managed many things, even fall in love. Many say finally, but I'm guessing it was always there..I just needed a small 'nudge' in the right direction. Unfortunately it came too late.


**__**

Wishing upon a falling star

I sit on the comfortable window seat, my head leaning against the cold window as it rained outside. I usually love listening to the rain. The way it drummed against the glass and create a rhythm so soft and sacred, that very few things could come close to it; the way it would slowly lull one to sleep or the way it would help you concentrate on the little things in life

But tonight it's different. Something's changed. I can no longer concentrate on the rain, or the simple things in life. Nor can be easily lulled to sleep by the serene beat of the raindrops on the window, no matter how much I try. In all truth I didn't actually realize it was raining that much.

No, for my mind was pre-occupied with something else. Someone else. Or more specifically, a conversation with someone else.

You see, this year was filled with twists and turns, even though it is only February. Since I've been back for my final and most important year at Hogwarts, I've managed to become at least an acquaintance of my former enemy, made another enemy, failed my first class, learned to have more fun, lost my favourate cousin in a car crash, got kidnapped at her funeral, experienced the worst Christmas and the best New Year of my life, fell in love

Through all this, nothing seems more important at the moment than the last point. I fell in love. Many would say finally, but then again many more would say it was always there. I'm guessing it was always there but I just needed a small nudge in the right direction.

Unfortunately the 'nudge' came rather late. Too late actually

I am now amazed at my ignorance and at the stupidity of the situation that I seemed to have wandered in. You see he was always there for me. He was Head Boy with me, and quite a good one at that, and I began noticing a different side of him, that I never saw before. A side I actually liked very much. He was my archenemy yet through the hard work we shared we became better acquainted. He helped me bring my grade up for a lesson that I was failing. He stood by my side as I grieved for my lost cousin and he was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. The most ironic part of all this was that he was the one who saved me when I got kidnapped. All by himself. He had spent a week in the hospital wing after that but I stayed with him the entire time

When I was having the worst time at Christmas with my parents, he came over and stole me away for New Year's and I had the best time of my life. He took me home the following morning and he told me that I was one his best friends in the whole world.

Friends. The word hung in my mind for so long, and still does. Without knowing the reason, as I do now, it stung me. Soon after I realized that I wanted to be more than friends; more than best friends

The realization that had dawned on me was surprising and thoroughly frightening. Yet at the same time I couldn't help but feel excited. I couldn't wait to see him again and I looked forward to going back to school. But when I found myself in his presence after we had returned, I could do nothing but run away from him

You see, I was not a true Gryffindor and I proved it. I hated running away from him, as I saw how much it hurt him when I did that. His eyes stared at me intently as I tried to come up with a believable lie in order for me to leave. My friends hit me for my stupidity and his friends just yelled at my stupidity.

I knew I needed to talk to him, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I had built a wall between us and that didn't help much. Every day became an eternity without his company, without his smile or his antics, yet every day I seemed to be building the wall even higher. I now felt like an outsider whenever I would observe him and a fire would light up inside me whenever I would see him smile and my eyes would sharpen whenever I saw him in female company

I was going crazy

Then I realized that Valentine's Day was very near and I came up with the perfect idea to make him realize that I was in love with him and why I acted like I did. I would send him a secret note saying to meet me on the top tower where I would be waiting with a single red rose.

But I never did and I never will for that evening he went on a date; the first in 3 years. I didn't stick around to find out more. I left him in the Common Room with the others. He followed me though. I tried to get away from him, but he was too fast. Always has been and I cursed my short legs. He whipped me around and I came face to face with hazel pools

He asked me what the hell was wrong with me, but I didn't answer. I couldn't. My throat clenched and I found it very hard to breathe as well as to see and I realized with a start that I had started crying. He seemed to soften his grip around my arm after that but not altogether letting go.

He repeated the question and I still couldn't answer. I saw a flicker of agitation and sadness and I knew he was getting angry. I tried to wiggle my arm out of his grasp but it didn't work. I asked him to let go; I begged but he was set on finding out what was the matter

I looked at me, some sort scornfully, and asked me why I was acting like I was. Why I was ignoring him this past month. Why everyone seemed to know what was wrong with me but he seemed to be kept in the dark.

I cried harder and begged him to let me go

He asked me if anything changed between us. Why was I all of a sudden quiet around him. Why I ran away from him.

My knees were giving in and my heart was pounding in my rib cage

He asked me why I started hating him again

At that moment I stopped sobbing, although the tears kept falling, and looked into his eyes. I told him that I didn't hate him. That I could never hate him again

Confusion passed through him and his grip lost its strength. His voice came out so soft as he spoke next, asking me what the matter was then. Asking for answers

That's where I told him that I loved him. And my world fell apart

He stared at me numbly and I managed to get free, although I no longer wanted to run away. And I told him everything, I told him about Christmas, about New Year's, us being friends, my cousin's funeral, about my plan's that night, and he just stared at me

Suddenly his eyes were ablaze as he seemed to be shaking with suppressed rage. His voice rose as he began telling me off for never considering anyone else's feeling other than my own. He asked my why I was doing what I was doing to him; why now.

I remained silent. He turned away from me for a second, but when he looked back at me the only thing that was visible in his eyes was sadness. As he spoke he took a few steps back, away from me. He told me that he was sorry, that he didn't feel for me like that anymore, that I was too late

Silence befell us for sometime and all we did was stare at each other until he muttered another soft apology as he left me alone in the corridor.

As soon as he turned the corner I collapsed against the wall, crying the hardest I've ever cried in my life. I had nothing left now. Nothing

I have no idea how long I stayed in the corridor but I know that when I left I didn't go back to the Common Room. Not straight away anyway. I didn't want to face all the questions or deal with all the pitying faces and the 'I told you so' s

Instead I went outside and walked alone around the lake, my heart still numb from the rejection and my eyes now dry from crying. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I had none left, unbeknownst rubbing the tearstains on my cheeks away making them red

I looked up in the sky and stared at the stars as I sat on the ground. There were a few clouds out at that time but some stars were still visible. I managed to spot many of the stars that I had learned it my first years here. The first three years that I was on speaking terms with him. We sat together in that class and he taught me the stories behind them

Orion, the tragic hunter that was killed by the love of his life; the Goddess Artemis. Her brother had tricked her into doing so by challenging her to an archery competition. When she realized what she had done, she had begged her father, the almighty Zeus, to revive him. Although Zeus could no such thing, he got his soul and spread him through the heavens where he would live for an eternity

I smiled as I remembered with what exaggeration he told the story, yet with how much passion. He always did believe in love, and was always open to giving and receiving it. He was always good at giving it too. He was a hopeless romantic

From forth year onwards he tried to prove it to me in the most bizarre ways, which came to annoy me greatly. Looking back now, I don't understand why. He was harmless and earnest. He seemed to try to catch my attention as often as he could, with every way that he could. He made it his duty to follow me around and act on my word. I now realize the full length of the feelings he used to have for me, and it hurts to actually comprehend that none of that will ever happen again, that he will never be there for me

All I ever did was yell at him, hit him, insult him and now I regret it. If there is one person that deserves a good word, a compliment, it was him. I just never saw it, or refused to do so

Maybe, just maybe, things would have been different. Maybe

Through the clouds, in the sky then I saw a falling star, and I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes and made a wish. I wished for a miracle

It never came

Within the turmoil of my emotions and the jumbling of my mind, I managed to make my way back up to the Common Room, despite the fact that all I wanted to do now was leave this place

I could understand him. Really I could. I mean who was I to reject him for three years, then become friends and then all of a sudden proclaim that I loved him just as he got over me. I understand him not loving me any more, and his explosion toward me earlier. What I don't understand is how I could be so blind to what was in front of me

Now everything we ever had together was destroyed. Our friendship, our love, was torn and it seemed that it could never be repaired

I walked into the Common Room, which was by now half empty. Except for our friends. As soon as they saw me they rushed to my side and began asking me about him, about what happened and if I had told him. Without replying I left them and sat down near this window, where I remained until now.

They all left me alone when they realized that I wasn't going to be answering their questions. They exchanged confused glances between them but I didn't notice as someone else was in the room at that time.

It was him. And he was escorting a pretty sixth grader to the portrait hole. That must be his date. My heart hammered through my ribs again and I found that I had more tears forming in my eyes. I willed myself to turn around, to look away, but I couldn't. I stared at him, and at her, envying her

Then he looked at me. Our eyes locked and inside his there was something so strong and confusing that I couldn't explain. He never dropped his gaze from mine, except when he had to clime through the hole. Then I didn't see him again.

Our friends tried to understand what was happening but they soon gave up when they realized that they wouldn't be getting any answers any time soon, and so they slowly made their way up to their dorm rooms, shooting furtive glances in my direction. I never saw them but I could feel them, and that provoked my tears to reappear

I sat alone for a long time, tears streaming silently down my cheeks, and I'm still there now. Hours passed yet I still cant seem to persuade myself to move from the spot near the window

My eyes seemed to be glued on the blurred outline of the Forbidden Forest, but my mind was thinking about him again

Was he happy with her now? I wondered how their date was going? I hope it goes horrible. Actually no. I want him to be happy and if he succeeds that with someone else I guess I'm going to have to deal with that

Plus it's entirely my fault. He was here, right next to me for so long, but I never saw it until now. Until the day he let me go. The irony of the situation hits my heart so painfully and the only thing I can think of is how is it that it's now that I can tell him that I love him? Now that it's too late?

All of a sudden I feel someone watching me and the intensity of their eyes on me makes me turn around. My blood stops cold as my eyes met dark brown. I can't believe he is here

Before he manages to say anything to me, I stand up and quickly move closer to him, telling him that I was sorry. Not sorry for loving him though, because I could never be sorry for that. Sorry for taking me so long to realize what I feel for him. I tell him that I hope I still have his friendship and we can still hang out, because I don't know if I'm going to be able to live without him

I also tell him that if he didn't want that he didn't have to hang around me out of pity. That he shouldn't feel obliged to stay with me because I was in love with him. He could leave and always remember the smiles we sheared. I would keep the tears we caused each other and so we could always complete each other. Always

Then I fall silent, waiting. Waiting for anything; his temper to flare up again, a smile, a nod, for him to walk away, to say something. Anything. But nothing comes

He stares at me long and hard, barely blinking, and I feel him reaching into me, searching my soul.

He takes a step closer to me and in a soft voice he tells me about his date. He described everything. The walk there, their conversations, what they ordered, what happened afterwards

My heart hurts so much with the ease that he can say this in and tears are threatening to escape once more. My hand shakes as I raise it to wipe my unshed tears, all the while his eyes never leaving my face. I seem to have diverted my eyes to the floor, where there was a small burn.

The burn was my creation. Well, his and mine. We had accidentally knocked over a lit candle while they were trying to sneak out one night

He's still going on an on about his date and I cant help but think that he enjoys tormenting me. I told him that I loved and he finds it an ideal way to torture me and kill me in a slow and painful way. I can feel a flicker of detestation towards him

For a second I look him I the eye and I tell him that I'm happy he enjoyed his date in the coldest tone I could master and turn around to make my way to bed.

As I reach the head of the stairs a hand takes a firm hold of my arm, pulling me back to him, despite my struggling. He holds me close and I swear I've stopped breathing. I can tell he's still talking; going on about an interesting conversation he had with his date, but all I can think of is the closeness of our bodies. We haven't been this close in a long time. My ears pick up a vital sentence though. A sentence that manages to stop everything I'm doing and look up at him

Rose, his date, apparently had told him the funniest thing; (he let out a small nervous laugh) that he was still in love with me. He smiles down at me, and I know he can hear my heartbeat

Does he –

He produces a beautiful lily for me and hands it to me, telling me he's sorry for everything. For shouting at me before, and for walking away, he was just angry with himself and confused with me. He apologizes for his stupidity over the last month

I look in his eyes and I know he does. I gaze at the lily in my hands and I can't help but notice how perfect it is. Flawless

I hear him apologize again and I ask him why, as I get lost in his eyes

He tells me he's sorry that it wasn't a red rose. He whispered against my lips that he thought lilies were the most beautiful flowers in the world

I gaze at him closely, tracing every inch of his face. We stand in silence for a while before he speaks again, asking my forgiveness. I look at him perplexed questioning him on why. He doesn't answer. Instead he takes a step closer and closes the gap between us

And we shared our first kiss, after his date, my rejection, and both our stupidities

A/N I'm back! Yup.. Now please don't get mad for my lack of updating in my other stories, I've only been back for about a week and while I was updating **_The Meeting of Fate_** I got inspire to write this. I hope you enjoyed these and the others wont take long. I promise. But tell me what you think of this one. Thanks! xXx


End file.
